Pain

Having pain is something that hurts us, not only in a physical way, but in a mental and spiritual ways. We are surrounded by pain in our lives, some pains are tougher and others are simple, but in the end, al pain leaves a scar.

When we think about pain, there is rejection to it, we don’t even desire to our loved ones. Pain is the physical rejection of what surround us, is a way of letting us know that there is danger and we need to remove from there or to avoid a thing. But not all pain is a bad thing.

Pain is a double-edge sword: it can make us weak (where it hurts), but it also can make us stronger when we realize what we can learn from it. It depends on us in our capacity to face the consequences, it may be hard, but the sharpest parts of the swords are the sides that are more sharpened.

Just as one must suffer physical pain to build stronger bone and muscle, one must suffer emotional pain to develop greater emotional resilience, a stronger sense of self, increased compassion, and a generally happier life. Our most radical changes in perspective often happen at the tail end of our worst moments. Life happens without warning, one way to realize the meaning of our lives is through pain.

It’s only when we feel intense pain that we’re willing to look at our values and question why they seem to be failing us. We need some sort of existential crisis to take an objective look at how we’ve been deriving meaning in our life, and then consider changing course. Pain is a reminder of what we have, and who we are, but it is not what defines who we are, we are not pained by our existence, nor determined by it, it as a tool for the search of meaning.

One of the risks that pain has is that it: isolate us, there is no one with a pain like ours, and that fact can makes us believe we are special (like everybody else) and avoid fun activities with others, by fearing it will hurt more. The problem was that our emotions defined our reality. Because it felt like people didn’t want to talk to us or reject us. That is pain talking, not reality.

Many people, when they feel some form of pain or anger or sadness, drop everything and attend to numbing out whatever they’re feeling. Their goal is to get back to “feeling good” again as quickly as possible, even if that means substances or deluding themselves or returning to their shitty values. Learn to sustain the pain you’ve chosen. When we choose a new value, we are choosing to introduce a new form of pain into your life. Relish it. Savor it. Welcome it with open arms. Then act despite it    

The scar is a reminder of what we learnt or what we need to learn, we may hate it for what happened, the past, but we need to remind ourselves that it is why we are still here, living, learning to enjoy the present and project ourselves to the future. Without scars we wouldn’t be here.